My Governance Wishlist..

Democracy is the worst form of governance but better than all other known to us- Winston Churchill

Some chaps dreading maths opt economics, supposedly art, and are soon baffled by the complexity of regression analysis into a regretful life. Intelligently I escaped that and choose electronics engineering to garner my regrets. But last night experience made me realize that its not an art-science conflict but rather lack of enthusiasm. I mean what sort of genius is a requisite to be an autorickshaw puller but if next to Adam Smith anyone else has understood the exploitative dynamics behind demand-supply driven free market economy then they are the one. More so on Bangalore streets at night. The mofo charged me 400 bucks for what in broad daylight was 25 Rs affair in an AC bus.

How I wish we had a socialist transportation system!!

All you IT guys don't be ridiculous in complaining your job futility, after all its really not that unproductive. As much globally recognized an asset social networking is, equally unpraised is the online payment stuff run by you fellas. Circa 2003, standing in a 50 odd headed queue to pay landline bill outside an office having shadowing provisions for only those triumphant 3 or 4 who had patiently survived the heat. Being a weekday most fellas were rural folks for whom landline still was a recent invention and so bills lesser than there cost of commutation. And there I was, with my dues being a substantial share for the entire days collection, at the far end. Forget I-pods even a Nokia 3330 was a luxury back then, so no music to appease my impatience.. and carrying umbrella was way too unmanly. I the bourgeois class of the queue representing real India thought of suggesting collection of fattest bills first. Just thought.

How I wish we had a capitalist payment-queue system!!

Back in school was an arrangement that when teachers left the class in the middle for short durations, citing rational urgency (which now I think were excuses to attend nature's call), monitors (M & F one sex each) were responsible to maintain silence. Any noisy soul was chalked on blackboard for the returning teacher to attend with vaccinations (that's what we termed for ears being manhandled). My co-monitor oblivious of power politics listed my friends name. The bro-code was swore and my manliness was put to question to save that fella. I under pressure illicitly added on redemption rolls 3 of her friends and signaled expected trade-offs. Innocently diligent that she was, so naturally failed to comprehend. We had an argument; she giving logics me replying with fervors.. the matter got loud and at the loudest moment the teacher re-entered.. In vicinity of the bigger crime names on board were ignored.. Brocode was lived upto but I ended up getting the vaccination. Who watches the watchman??

How I wish administration be single party dictatorship!!

Its a tragedy for nation's sports culture that media highlights only cricketing icons. I personally felt that during the cricket team selection for standard 6th, when for 12 vacancies there were 30+ applicants. Had meritocracy been a strict criteria it was hard to get a place as the 12th man of even a back up squad...but I had my connections. Each batsman was given 3 shots and fate sealed.. Last to be tried I had to score minimum 7 runs to quantitatively tie with three others for the single place left.. I managed 6 only..but as said I had my connections. Captain and vice captain, both my best friends, vigorously pitched to selectors the qualitative aspects of my defensive shots... A day Later I played 2nd down.

How I wish my love for democratic elections remains eternal!!

Democracy is the worst form of governance but better than all other known to us- Winston Churchill

Eskool DaeZs

This stuff initially I was writing only for my school group on FB but at the end found the effort worthy enough to be shared to a larger audience.. hence the post..

They say we live life twice, first in improvisations and then in revisions- the two states of cognition. Once in present, amalgamating deeds with our vision of future; and then later in present analyzing our memories of past. Infact their is no well defined time boundary separating one state from other but instead its like a gradual transformation into the predominance of later over former. Drawing an analogy I think of a river flow, innocent at the glacier's foot ebulliently tracing whichever direction with no preconceived notions of destination (infact unaware of its very existence) and then the mid-life crisis of stagnation, few trade-offs between vanity and external expectations here and there before the acceptance of........ Wait a minute.. Improvisation!! cognition!! Mid-life crisis!! Vanity!! Where am I heading to?? This is my school group not a herd of seekers who have reached fifth stage of Maslow's hierarchy.. I shouldn't be penning down a philosophical doctrine here... I can always save that for my blog.. so coming back to my age's audience.. here I go.

May be I'm getting old earlier than expected or may be I am too jobless these days to do nothing but dive in retrospection..(Or may be certainly its the effect of Katli posting a school time pic on FB).. In last few hours I have done thing as meaningless as staring a lizard in a game lets-see-who-makes-first-move* and after nearly 30 minutes I won.. (that explains how idle I am.. three cheers for that).. An industrious fella I am and hence thought lets create something of this unproductive-sentimental-retrospective plunge..and thus this post.. presently the best alternative only next to some imaginary dates with ample blondes on an island where I am the only male -alpha or omega. Too much intro.. I guess the stage is all set and anyway if you have read this long you probably will/should read till the end..

Yesterday on a public forum, KD instigated and baba endorsed the idea that I am good narrator..demanding that I must narrate something from St. Mary's day.. My initial thought was Bloody what ya think me your nanny?? But then the supposedly MBA guy in me thought of how companies invest hugely, re-engineer vigorously and advertise insanely for projecting a core competency.. and here they are gifting me one just for a mushy comment I made, so why not cash the opportunity .. (So Baba unlike your contri this is no samajseva.. and let me make it clear my samajprem is limited only to the fairer half of your samaj)

Thinking of what to narrate I remember a childhood friend from St. Mary's only, who of that era was probably the most dedicated narrator in the world.. I believe he almost got orgasmic sensations listening to his own voice..cause always fluid poured through the left corner of his mouth while doing so..(Yes Cheap humor I know).. Once he nearly peed in pants just because he was in the middle of a story in front of the whole class when the call of nature knocked down south.. but a devoted man he was and was ready to be remembered as a martyr for a cause than a man who absconded the battlefield.. and thus the call of duty triumphed.. Infact those days I was kinda his protegee and if you people are a kind listener may be the second best narrator of my age group... though my priorities were set little more on need-of-the-hour basis.. and i have successfully escaped many battlefields more than once.. (hey that could be my second core competency).

So here goes an incident between guru-chela..

Remember the rocket thing in our smaller ground??.. Don't think too far our school was no modern cradle of science and technology..I am talking about the structure next to the charkhi thing.. So one day it was us playing the astronauts and disgusting our social circle simultaneously.. I don't remember to whom and for what exactly i used the word 'Saaley'.. yes the plural form of the S-word for standard 3 students..(what a civilized world that was!!).. I knew an unspoken line was crossed.. then followed a few moment of silence in reading the situation.. before I changed the topic to latest comic editions.. He too kinda ignored that heinous crime.. Phew!!

But then it turned out as a political move to buy time for weighing his options as at the day end he took me to a corner and blackmailed.... I-know-what-you-did-last-supper moment.. the terms of the agreement negotiated.. me sharing half of my lunch UNCONDITIONALLY!!... wish I knew the term 'Fatass mofo' back then and could have offered him the whole lunch box for using it.. but in our times they showed Disney Hours instead of south Park (Alas troubled childhood!!)..This thing went on for weeks and by then it was a crime so distant in memory that no threat appeared till horizon.... and the agreement terminated....The best part was even his crime was never taken as one such and we remained guru-chela ever-after till one day he left the school in mid sessions abdicating the title for me..

That's it and that's all.. I sincerely wish this was some masterpiece which I could have dedicated to him -my guru..

P.S. : * The lets-see-who-makes-first-move game with lizards was invented by a dear friend of mine.. A thinking man that he is.. And I never fail to emulate such time tested exercises which might make me one some day.. You can follow his other experimental thoughts at “Thoughts Unfolded” 

[A/The] Wonder [Fool/Full] [Law/La]

SCENE 1: The Usual Onion

At company sponsored second excursion on expected lines yet again people indulged in Antakshari. Since, unlike the previous occasion, the pastime act started in a professional fashion with prepared set of singers it lacked element of innocence and hence didn’t last long. But then not to the relief of an isolated me – a 40 till I die spirited intern amidst cheerful folks. Someone suggested Dumb charades and without any seeming contemplation it was democratically accepted with full majority. Yes, considering that my opinion was not sought full is fully appropriate.

So there we were, able bodied intelligent grownups playing dumb and clueless kids. Serenity was lost anyway, though some silence was restored, but my attempts to fake detachment were betrayed by an intriguing curiosity; inquisitiveness sometimes takes toll on the quizzer. Full participation meant infidelity to the A-Silent-Types image I am married to, so I made an acceptable-explainable kind of trade off as an audience. Once much to my horror I was even made to play the dumb, and much to my surprise I did well. ByGod I did.

‘How I wish I was not me!!’ sometimes grow colossal.

SCENE 2: Peeling of Onion

After some 30 odd Kms we reached Wonderla, a thrill zone cum water park- a place even ardent critics can’t dismiss as yet another amusement park. Following easiest first rule we boarded a swinging boat. Couple of swings: That’s it??. Another few: Kids stuff!! And then came the real mode and leave others even the A-Silent-type was whispering ‘Fuck maaaeen’. Next we got on a seemingly circular ride. It was only when I was being thrown in multiple directions that I realised it didn’t follow the so thought Rutherford model and was the creation of some SchrodingerED engineer. Some 5 or so shouting-at-the-loudest minutes and the usually A-silent-type agnostic was grateful to heavens to be still alive and standing on his legs.

I try my best to carefully chart the way my probable biography is going to be, which at very first demands a life long enough (unless you are a revolutionary) and anyways “Jhuley se gir kar fool murjha gaya” is not a fitting end to even a fools life. But try explaining that to a spirit escalating adventurously with each impulsive stroke. Thus followed rides on drop zone, equinox, water wagon, twister tides, tubular falls, Sliding tracks, rain dance etc (explaining them is hard and unnecessary, if you too happen to be an inquisitive one you are on net help yourself ). The underlying phenomenon was the opening up. First whispering, then shouting, then howling and dancing and what not.

With every ride one layer each was shredded.

SCENE 3: The Shredded Onion

On the way back Antakshari was back in a modified way. The enthusiastic singers offered to sing the favourite songs of others. My turn was still away. Usually I would have forge a sleep but the defence mechanism wall was perforated. Anyways I was tired so closed my eyes and reflected back. I thought of Philippe Halsman and his jumpology... law that jumps cause masks to fall.. which at peak of acceptance made even the likes of Munro and Nixon fall for a photograph. Learning that first I had ridiculed it as yet another celebrity endorsed racket, now it did made sense. My turn was about to come. What to do remain so or open up? With a law to explain my behaviour I chose later. Not only did I make a farmaish but when it occurred to be something they did not know the lyrics of, I sang that too.

Had the onion been peeled to the center?? May be no. For the layers are the onion and there is no center.!!

Conclusion

After all ‘How I wish I was not me’ isn’t that colossal.

&

How I wish the second trip was not the final too.