Friday, April 10, 2009

But Then Why I….?

Semester exams are going on and hence consequentially and inevitably I am in a melancholy temper. When in blue doldrums, I prefer introspection. Among all and sundry thoughts that I revisited one contemplation provoked me the most, which was “How my life changed from what it was to what it became, rather than what it was trying to become.” Here are few such changes which I regret having been accustomed to. The underline squabble is I say I am adapted to it, but then why I lament.

My ‘changed’ Life:

How it changed from a carefree childhood to a meticulous grown-up life,
but then why I find there is more anxiety around.

How it changed from sharing grandma’s space to having room of my own,
but then why I miss her stories in insomniac nights.

How it changed from innocent friendships to purpose based contacts,
but then why I long for a listener to share thoughts.

How it changed from everyday katti-milli to a matured band of associates,
but then why I am tangled amid tacit ego-clashes.

How it changed from endless cycling in neighborhood to just small walks,
but then why I feel more tired by comfortable rest.

How it changed from saving pennies for monthly comics to host of novels,
but then why I sometime lack my reading interest.

How it changed from gully cricket amid neighbor’s ire to electronic games,
but then why I miss the obstinacy to win contest.

How it changed from the early morning sky to mid-day waking patterns,
but then why I feel so weary to glimpse the sun.

How it changed from raju’s small provisional shop to big shopping malls,
but then why I find it jaded to enter the shop.

How it changed from long awaited festivals to just any of other holiday,
but then why I feel nostalgic reminiscences of past.

How it changed from playing I-spy during power cuts to escaping faces,
but then why I complain of suffering from loneliness.

How it changed from infinite inquisitiveness to excellent information base,
but then why I ask question whose reply doesn’t matter.

9 comments:

Nick said...

gr8 work dude...no less than a genius..poem touched the right chords...way to go!!

Saket Ranjan said...

We all have felt so but hats off to you for bringing it out so beautifully. Felt like there's so much that I miss now. Always wanted to grow up as a child and now want to be a kid again.
"Ye daulat bhi le lo
Ye shohrat bhi le lo
Bhale chheen lo mujhse meri jawani
Magar mujhko lauta do
wo bachpan ka saawan
Wo kaagaz ki kashti
wo baarish ka pani"

Keep Writing(Who gives a damn abt exams)

Saurabh Rai said...

@Nick
Thanxs a lot for Ur exceedingly exaggerated extol...
I just hope someday I may really come up to anything like that...

@Saket
Saket Bhaiya, it was very kind of a blogger of Ur accord to lavish praise out here...
Rightly said as a Kid we always damned elders of not being able to value our emotions, and thought when we will grow we will be different. But now we grieve why we grew.

Rishabh Rai said...

You really figured out the most valid reason which often turn me off...Last Saturday, I was thinking of writing something like that..But anyways, the conundrum, just has a simple answer, that its human tendency of unsatisfaction...I am sure if nothing would have been changed, we would regret on stagnancy of our life...Very nice work...Hats off bro..:-)

hmmmmm said...

how you get to write all these stuff so qualitatively... you link your thoughts and writing skills so perfectly its superb...

Saurabh Rai said...

@ Rishabh
Thanx..
Don't think much B4 writing just scribe down Ur thoughts when U feel them d most...
Yes vry well said change is the thing which never changes..
But I never regret the change in those lines; I just regret its direction...

@ hmmmmm
Mr/Miss hmmmmm U hv made me marvel who U r...
I would hv loved to tell U hw I come up with such stuffs only if U would hv not been so clandestine in illuminating Ur identity..
I guess U did so to evade paparazzi...
Anyway Thanx a lot my mysterious ally...

Rishabh Rai said...

By the way....Hmmmmmmmmm is my beloved flat mate Shanky bhaiya....a big fan of ur creativeness...:-)

Unknown said...

Hi Saurabh,
This is simply amazing. It made me feel the journey of my changed life too. Enjoyed this one a lot. And this time don’t say that “this is just an immature work and no heart involved” and all that humility of yours.
By the way how the exams going on?

Saurabh Rai said...

@Hmmmm../ Shanky
Hi Shanky..
Thanxs again..
Though v haven't met, yet I knw u a lot through rishu..
U need not cum annonymous..

@Charu
Thanxs..
i'm glad u like it..
Ok this time i won't play modesty...N will happily accept Ur praise..
Exams r over anyhow...
I'm Home.