I and the dead

Now days too have gone hazy with the already dark nights,
Rendering my vision of who I am into a blind murky sight.

Where was it when I had last encountered me I can not say,
As I’m persistently busy escaping from myself as long as I may.

I scheme external calmness while restiveness haunts my soul,
I deceive entirety while deep inside I experience an empty hole.

My past are moments wasted, future is not worth breathing for,
And to stitch worn dreams the unscathed present is a thin chord.

My existence is a helpless trade-off between people and time,
While sands of later swiftly fleets, formers wish not to be mine.

Harmonizing these two phases I’ve lived as one through my plight,
Nakedly switching morals amongst shades of black gray and white.

When the diverse colors merged sweeping my conviction along,
My spirit died beneath the ripples of resignation mounting upon.

Secretly the dead man inside me asks the dusk of last day to end,
For his death will ensure if dawn of new life may perhaps begin.