I feel, he reasons

“Incomprehensible it may be yet it is relieving” I doubted, “With all the potential to be a nightmare” concluded the Chief. My fantasies need his sanction but a reluctant soul he is, too controlled. He overly shams perfection, never lets doubts grow; too cautious, too afraid; ephemeral they are “The exit will be followed by emptiness alone” he prophesized, attempting to kill it infant. My imagination has always inclined away from normalcy and the Chief is humanly numb, …Tch none makes sense. Silence was unwelcome  I whistled with faint smile. “Is thinking so tough or your senses have sublimed?” I feel, he reasons, we are at loggerheads.

I have to follow Chief, I owe him much. Seldom has I like listening him, he instructs me much. Not that Chief is always right, though I keep my grudges hushed, not once did I revolt, he already intimidates me enough. Tight air of silence prevailed. Suffocated, I fought all the inertia, and opened the window; the Chief objected that too “Strangers might peep in”. No arguments. I have to believe in Chief, I hardly trust others. None can even closely match Chief. He says he knows all. The Chief is wisdom. I feel, he reasons, we are at loggerheads.

At times, in Chief’s absence, I do peep out of that window. And I often see cheerful strangers, unlike him. But having known Chief so long most of these cheerful people seem shallow, or at best not concerned about depths. I mean no dishonour to those shallow cheerful strangers, and I might well be biased as Chief is my only window to world. Chief might be a sad fellow, but he is constant in his purpose. If he so wishes Chief can be most of them, but most of them can’t be chief. The Chief is purposeful. I feel, he reasons, we are at loggerheads.

Not that the Chief was always like this. Once he too was carefree and romanced life. In fact he was more human than one should have been allowed to. Something happened then, he will kill me If I tell you what, he already intimidates me enough. He claims he is content now, I doubt though, as he overly shams. He has grown too realistic since, conveniently deadened from his past. He mostly talks of future, of sacrifices and will power. I try to show him the present, but for chief it’s a thing of past. He says he has gone through all. The Chief is experienced. I feel, he reasons, we are at loggerheads.   

Though I keep my grudges hushed, not once did I revolt, but the chief sense it, the chief knows it all. He never mentioned openly but he gives subtle hints that our partnership has a destination at which it culminates. I care least about destination except that 'when will it arrive?'. I need not care. Chief has everything planned, and though he is a sad fellow the Chief is wisdom. I just hope after dropping me there the Chief learns to relax. However he may sham, I know, deep inside he is still alive. The Chief is pretension. The Chief is mentor. I feel, he reasons, we are at loggerheads, till one day, and then we will be on same side.