Every dog has its day

Before we begin, an important information for you, this post is not written by your moronic blogger Saurabh. He realized lately that how lacklusterous his last few post have been and how readers (who I suppose are hardly any) are exasperated. So he begged me to write something interesting in a guest column. As we are long time friends, meeting every morning at the tea shop sharply at 4’o clock just before we go to sleep, I couldn’t say no to him and so reluctantly accepted. So, here I go.

Hi all humans out there,

Firstly let me introduce myself. My name is Tiger and I am a stray dog. Few people also christen me Tommy but I abhor that name as it sounds identical to the name of an exceedingly inefficient housecat created by William Hannah and Joseph Barbara, unable to settle square with a little mouse called Jerry. Also it reminds me of an aged Tommy lee Jones who himself declares that there is ‘No country for the old men’. I prefer being called ‘Tiger’ as it projects my youthful vitality and sex appeal; you can snoop to my gorgeous bitch friend as testimonials.

I am young and lazy and I hate incompetence. I try to bark on fellow dogs and bitches a lot, on the benefits of being dynamic, that sucks a lot of my vigor and so I became lethargic. They don’t seem to be bothered for my words, but I confidently believe every dog has its day and till then I ought to keep barking. I remain wakeful the whole night barking devotedly unless and until it perturbs the night watchman and my fellow stray mates.

Mother used to say that dogs and human had a long term friendly relationship since the very early civilization. But somehow you people were the first to discover fire and wheel, while we were busy in guarding and hunting for you and in some of our private roadside activities. These two meager discoveries made you supercilious and disdainful; you people began projecting us as a loyal servant than a sincere friend. That really agitated our community. Mama told that once there was even a plan for mass uprising among dogs during early 1950’s, but the very gratifying human act of giving priority to a bitch called ‘Laika’ as the first native of earth in space, greatly placated the agitation. Other times too there were some minute aggression when our dog friend Pluto was shown as a subordinate to a mouse called Mickey, but again human creations like Scooby-doo, 101 Dalmatians’, Turner and Hooch, White Fang etc helped a lot in pacifying the probable revolts.

Many of you human feel its misfortune being stray dog. Unfortunately they don’t realize how much contentment it is being a stray dog. Agastya Sen of English august fame recognized this and stated ‘I wished to be a domesticated male stray dog because they lived the best life. They are assured of food and because they are stray they don’t have to guard the house to earn their foods.’ He is an intelligent man, an IAS officer do I need any more evidence. In my opinion an IAS job is very similar to that of a stray dog. I have seen many stray blue light vehicles wandering here and there on government fuel without having to return anything significant in return as service.

Contrary to what you humans might think about us I think it is pity hard being human. Must be even harder being students. Daily I see many of them coming to the tea shop which is place of my night halt at 3:30 A.M. There eyes tired with the one night study routine and there talk filled with the frustration about the system they are put into. Its pity to see young kids strained into smoking by the profound quantity of work load.

Though my mother is not sure about the whereabouts of even my own father but she says that once during the time of my grandpa’s grandpa’s grandpa in late 60s there was a movement in dog community to make provision for essential educational training for each and every dog. This campaigning started somewhere in US, crossed the Atlantic and spread away throughout Europe. The consensus of dog’s of Middle East and Africa was not sought of as there dogs were still waiting for similar provisions for girl child educational training. But when it reached India we vehemently opposed such provisions. We send our delegates to US and Europe along with few NRIs of brain drain stream, under secret missions, in order to explain them how Indians are doing fine in spite of low literacy rate. It took time and effort but our mission was successful at the end. I thank God my ancestors succeeded.

Friends I would have loved to share few interesting incidents of my life worth sharing, but an impatient Saurabh says I have this limitation of space. I think he is afraid I have not been of much help to the blog, but after reading the prior posts I think, so is not he. In case if he allows me another chance I hope we can continue till then bye and take care.

Bark N Snarl fully yours
Tiger